nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Is it because I queefed?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
