don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
