if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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