The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
