I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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