Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
