how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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