You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
is it fun? or sober?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
