Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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