I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
bring money and cleavage
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
