he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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