So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
