Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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