After last night, I could never be a politician.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
