You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
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