She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
