Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
