we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
