I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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