you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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