and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
