It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
