What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
