think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
