I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
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He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
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And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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