I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
