i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
