Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
