will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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