there's paper in my vomit.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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