Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
