just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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