just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
My vagina just recognized that song.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize