Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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