wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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