Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
