I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize