I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
