Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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