I just made out with a guy for $7.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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