Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
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its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I will be naked everywhere
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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