4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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