He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
