4 words: hood of his car
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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