what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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