i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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