so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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