well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
