Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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