you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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