what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
