Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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