Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
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