Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
