A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
