I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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