Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
