The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
