Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
