I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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