Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
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I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
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Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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