So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize