dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
