I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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