wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
