Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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