We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
