There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Randomize
