I'm pants shitting drunk right now
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Reggie can tackle my bush.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
